Let’s face it; no one likes the interview process. Well, certainly not the people being interviewed anyway. If there was another way around the interview process, most of us had gladly take it. For an interview, you have to be on your best behavior, you only get one chance to get it right, and it’s like taking your driving test all over again.
Remember, being interviewed is a skill, and if you do the preparation you should ace it every time. Here are some 15 interview questions and how to go about answering them. Do you have any that you’d like us to know, simply drop it in the comment box with an appropriate answer – never can tell who you’re helping out.
1. So, tell me a little about yourself.
I’d be very surprised if you haven’t been asked this one at every interview. It’s probably the most asked question because it sets the stage for the interview and it gets you talking. Be careful not to give the interviewer your life story here. You don’t need to explain everything from birth to present day. Relevant facts about education, your career and your current life situation are fine.
2. Why are you looking (or why did you leave your last job)?
This should be a straightforward question to answer, but it can trip you up. Presumably you are looking for a new job (or any job) because you want to advance your career and get a position that allows you to grow as a person and an employee. It’s not a good idea to mention money here, it can make you sound mercenary. And if you are in the unfortunate situation of having been downsized, stay positive and be as brief as possible about it. If you were fired, you’ll need a good explanation. But once again, stay positive.
3. Tell me what you know about this company.
Do your homework before you go to any interview. Whether it’s being the VP of marketing or the mailroom clerk, you should know about the company or business you’re going to work for. Has this company been in the news lately? Who are the people in the company you should know about? Do the background work, it will make you stand out as someone who comes prepared, and is genuinely interested in the company and the job.
4. Why do you want to work at X Company?
This should be directly related to the last question. Any research you’ve done on the company should have led you to the conclusion that you’d want to work there. After all, you’re at the interview, right? Put some thought into this answer before you have your interview, mention your career goals and highlight forward-thinking goals and career plans.
5. What relevant experience do you have?
Hopefully if you’re applying for this position you have bags of related experience, and if that’s the case you should mention it all. But if you’re switching careers or trying something a little different, your experience may initially not look like it’s matching up. That’s when you need a little honest creativity to match the experiences required with the ones you have. People skills are people skills after all, you just need to show how customer service skills can apply to internal management positions, and so on.
6. How are you when you’re working under pressure?
Once again, there are a few ways to answer this but they should all be positive. You may work well under pressure, you may thrive under pressure, and you may actually PREFER working under pressure. If you say you crumble like a pack of cards, this is not going to help you get your foot in the door.
7. What motivates you to do a good job?
The answer to this one is not money, even if it is. You should be motivated by life’s noble pursuits. You want recognition for a job well done. You want to become better at your job. You want to help others or be a leader in your field.
8. What’s your greatest strength?
This is your chance to shine. You’re being asked to explain why you are a great employee, so don’t hold back and stay do stay positive. You could be someone who thrives under pressure, a great motivator, an amazing problem solver or someone with extraordinary attention to detail. If your greatest strength, however, is to drink anyone under the table or beat your opponent in a game of FIFA11, keep it to yourself. The interviewer is looking for work-related strengths.
9. What’s your biggest weakness?
If you’re completely honest, you may be kicking yourself in the butt. If you say you don’t have one, you’re obviously lying. This is a horrible question and one that politicians have become masters at answering. They say things like “I’m perhaps too committed to my work and don’t spend enough time with my family.” Oh, there’s a fireable offense. I’ve even heard “I think I’m too good at my job, it can often make people jealous.” Please, let’s keep our feet on the ground. If you’re asked this question, give a small, work-related flaw that you’re working hard to improve. Example: “I’ve been told I occasionally focus on details and miss the bigger picture, so I’ve been spending time laying out the complete project every day to see my overall progress.”
10. Let’s talk about salary. What are you looking for?
Run for cover! This is one tricky game to play in an interview. Even if you know the salary range for the job, if you answer first you’re already showing all your cards. You want as much as possible, the employer wants you for as little as you’re willing to take. Before you apply, take a look at salary.com for a good idea of what someone with your specific experience should be paid. You may want to say, “well, that’s something I’ve thought long and hard about and I think someone with my experience should get between X & Y.” Or, you could be sly and say, “right now, I’m more interested in talking more about what the position can offer my career.” That could at least buy you a little time to scope out the situation. But if you do have a specific figure in mind and you are confident that you can get it, I’d say go for it.
11. Are you good at working in a team?
Unless you have the I.Q. of a houseplant, you’ll always answer YES to this one. It’s the only answer. How can anyone function inside an organization if they are a loner? You may want to mention what part you like to play in a team though; it’s a great chance to explain that you’re a natural leader.
12. Would you rather work for money or job satisfaction?
It’s not a very fair question is it? We’d all love to get paid a Trump-like salary doing a job we love but that’s rare indeed. It’s fine to say money is important, but remember that NOTHING is more important to you than the job. Otherwise, you’re just someone looking for a bigger paycheck.
13. Would you rather be liked or feared?
The genuine answer should be “Neither, I’d rather be respected.” You don’t want to be feared because fear is no way to motivate a team. You may got the job done but at what cost? Similarly, if you’re everyone’s best friend you’ll find it difficult to make tough decisions or hit deadlines. But when you’re respected, you don’t have to be a complete bastard or a lame duck to get the job done.
14. So, explain why I should hire you.
As I’m sure you know, “because I’m great” or “I really need a job” are not good answers here. This is a time to give the employer a laundry list of your greatest talents that just so happen to match the job description. It’s also good to avoid taking potshots at other potential candidates here. Focus on yourself and your talents, not other people’s flaws.
15. Finally, do you have any questions to ask me?
I’ll finish the way I started, with one of the most common questions asked in interviews. This directly relates to the research you’ve done on the company and also gives you a chance to show how eager and prepared you are. You’ll probably want to ask about benefits if they haven’t been covered already. A good generic one is “how soon could I start, if I were offered the job of course.” You may also ask what you’d be working on. Specifically, in the role you’re applying for and how that affects the rest of the company. Always have questions ready, greeting this one with a blank stare is a rotten way to finish your interview. Good luck and happy job hunting.
It was an atmosphere full of gratitude, praise and appreciation to God for His faithfulness and kindness so far at The Gospel Faith Mission International, Oke Igbala District. The members of Oke Igbala District in Ijebu Ode, Region 7 gathered together on Sunday, 9th of September, 2012 to celebrate the 5th year Anniversary of the District. The District was inaugurated after being coined out of the old Ijebu District on the 2nd Sunday of the month of September in the year 2007 (September 9, 2007). The thanksgiving/combined service which was held at the P.P.S Assembly of the District. The Occasion was attended by The General Secretary of the Mission in person of Pastor Ade Ojo and his wife, Ijebu District Pastor, Pastor Paul Odunsi and Pastor Olowoye Adebiyi (Oke Igbala District Pastor) who led a delegation of some of Ijebu District Executive Committee members and a couple of other Ministers of God.
The District Pastor, Pastor Biyi Olowoye, in form of a picture slide show highlighted the achievements of the District sofar. The slide show which had all the past and present photographs of all the assemblies in the District and their worship centers. According to him, the District kicked off with 14 assemblies which was spread across Ijebu-ode and Ijebu-Igbo environs but now, the District can fully boast of 23 assemblies which means that a total of 9 new assemblies had been established in the past five years, one of which was as a result of youth activities (New Dawn Assembly in Onirugba Street, Ijebu Ode was established through a crusade organized by the youth ministry of the District). In the course of the last 5 years, more than 70% of the assemblies now have their own lands and landed properties. The slide show made the congregation to understand the level of work that is on-going in the District. Majority of the assemblies are still worshipping under tents and uncompleted buildings. The slide also had photographs of other projects like the water project at the District Headquarters, The Pastor’s Lodge at the District Headquarters…, etc.. that the District had embarked on and also the various programmes held in the District in the last five years. At the end of the Slide presentation, the District Pastor stressed that there is still plenty of work to be done. The hard copy of the slide was also presented to the General Secretary. There was also a thanksgiving/fundraising offering to mark the Anniversary of the District.
The General Secretary, Pastor Ade Ojo in his Sermon stressed that for every work and sacrifice done for God, there is a sure reward, He further urged the congregation to be good finishers that it was not all about the beginning of the race, but it’s about finishing and finishing well. He also stated that “Behind every good finish(er), there is a great labour”. He cited examples of bad finishers like Samson, Cain, Gehazi etc. He also explained the characteristics of good finishers which include: DILIGENCE, FAITHFULNESS, HOLY LIFE, BEING GOOD EXAMPLES and finally Good finishers STOP COMPLAINING and they START PROCLAIMING. He finally advised the congregation to be good examples who will impact the lives of people around them positively. He finally ended the message with the General Overseer’s Prophetic Declaration for the Month of September which was tagged the Month of Success.
In a brief chat with our correspondent, the Ijebu District Pastor, Pastor Paul Odunsi had this to say about the achievements of Oke-Igbala District so far:…”Well, well, well…we need to give all glory to God, Oke Igbala District has come a long way, what we’ve seen here today is incredible, unbelievable, to God be the glory. We’ve been able to see a tremendous change in terms of infrastructure, spiritual activities, in the lives of the worshippers, the Minsters and the District Pastor himself. It is highly encouraging.” When our correspondent asked him for his advice on the way to move the District forward and where he wishes to see the District in the next five years, this is what the Ijebu District Pastor had to say: “I want to see you flying higher, in the next level, and my advice for you is to make sure you continue to work for God, give yourself to Him because the work is a spiritual work which we cannot do with our brain, our strength and power. The best thing for every Christian is to give themselves to God, keep to His warning, key into His word and listen attentively to His voice”.
The Oke Igbala District Pastor, Pastor Biyi Olowoye also had a brief interview with our correspondent. The Excerpts of the interview below:
HBN: Five years ago, Oke Igbala District, when you got into office, into the responsibility of being the District Pastor, What were the initial Challenges?
D.P.: There were plenty of challenges, lots of assemblies did not have their own places of worship, there was no funds to take off, no proper organization on ground, no assets transfer, we just started fresh. It was a very difficult task. But we thank God that everything is sorted out now.
HBN: So, five years down, can we confidently say that we have achieved.
D.P.: Well, we have achieved little, we thank God for the achievements though there is still a lot room for improvements, as we can see majority of our assemblies who were on rented apartments now have their own lands, almost all of our churches are now on their permanent sites, although that’s the first step to development, you know when you acquire a landed property, the next thing expected of you is to start building which we know is a bigger challenge, but we have made improvements and we thank God for it.
HBN: Five years from now, Oke Igbala District will be clocking ten, what are your visions, plans, dreams and aspirations for Oke Igbala District.
D.P.: Five years from now, I want to see all our assemblies in a standardized form, good buildings, good environments, and good set-up so that people can worship God under conducive atmosphere where people can be invited, and feel comfortable to stay and to also join the church. That is the next level for us now.
HBN: Your advice for everybody on how we can all move Oke Igbala forward.
D.P.: My advice is very simple. I’ll just advice everybody to contribute their own quota, there is nothing too little or too much to give to the Lord’s work, and nothing is too small. Everybody should give according to what the Lord had put in their hearts, that’s the only way forward; the work should not be left alone for the ministers and the pastors. One thing I will like to say is that our members have been very dedicated and they have been forth coming and what I now expect is that the Ministers that are managing our members in our various assemblies to be courageous, they should not be afraid and that they should not think about the economy of the nation, they should also advocate for people’s participation because that is the only way through which God can bless His people. God has no other means of blessing than to give, when you give to God, God will definitely bless you. So, they should make people realize that they are not giving to the Church, neither are they giving to the Pastor but they are rather giving to God.
HBN: From the Heritage Broadcasting Network, we say congratulations for the job well done and it was nice having you around.
The General Secretary of the Mission, Pastor Ado Ojo also had a brief interview with our correspondent where he commented on the achievements and the on-going projects of Oke Igbala District. Excerpts of the Interview below:
HBN: We know that as a Church Administrator you must have seen a couple of churches in many places, with the reports you have seen, Oke Igbala District at Five years old, what can you say so far?
G.S.: Really, within this very short span of time, you have achieved much even though you count the achievements to be so little, but if I compare this with others I found out that you are trying even though the work is not yet completed but you have made a very very significant improvement.
HBN: As a Church Administrator with a lot of experience, what is your advice for us, things we can definitely build on that can help move us to greater heights. Generally what is your advice for us?
G.S.: My Advice is to continually put into practice what our father; the G.O. has built into us. We should be totally committed, loyalty is also needed and also whenever we are doing this work, we should do it with open minds, when we are united there is nothing we cannot do. But, when we hide something from one another, people will not want to work, but we thank God for the kind of Leader you have here is a man who operates on open administration which I will advise him to continue in. I will also urge the people to give whole heartedly and selflessly.
HBN: Thank you very much sir, five years from now, Oke Igbala District will be clocking ten, what are your expectations from us?
G.S.: I will want to see the Church filled with saved souls, I will also love to see other assemblies that would have sprung up as a result of your evangelism and the youths also by then, should start taking over from us who are old.
HBN: We all know you are a man who has this passion for youths. So, what is your advice for the youths of this Mission and also the Ministers about handling youth matters?
G.S.: First of all to the Ministers, they should regard the youths as exuberant in their ways of life and we should know that youths are out to do things their own way but we are to guide them, we should not frighten them or put them aside or disregard them because they are those who have the present day technology, they know what to do at this time, all we need to do is to redirect them, encourage them, help them, be by their side in order to help them carry out what ever good thing they want to do. To the youths, they should know that the adults and the aged ones are their fathers and that they have all the experience, the knowledge and they should allow them (the Adults) to tutor them (the youths), they should also be patient with the adults. Finally, the youths also are urged to stay in the church because as I said earlier they are the ELISHAs and we the ELIJAHs which means we are soon going to hand over to them.
HBN: Thank you very much for your time sir.
(Oke Igbala District Pastor)
report by Akinyelu Blessing Oluwatomisin [HBN]
Do the majority of the rooms in your house have some type of stereo system?
Is turning on the radio or CD player one of the first things you do when you get in the car?
Do you find you can’t think clearly unless there is music going on in the background?
Are you uncomfortable with silence?
If you answered, “yes” to most of the questions above, then you may want to turn off your stereo and consider the benefits of some silence and solitude.
“I think the devil has made it his business to monopolize on three elements: noise, hurry, and crowds…Satan is quite aware of the power of silence.”
In our culture it is so easy to get caught up in the rush of life. Jobs, family, friends, and activities all compete for our time. We often feel pulled in all different directions, like a toy that is fought over by a group of children. Unfortunately, we as Christians may fall into the trap of spiritualizing our busyness. In the name of Christ, we meet needs, visit people, attend Bible studies, lead small groups, and serve others while juggling a job, close relationships, household duties. And then we too often skip the necessities of eating and sleeping. As we hustle and bustle from one thing to the next, we can also easily neglect our personal relationship with the Lord and slowly become less focused on living for His glory.
Please keep in mind that none of the activities listed in the previous paragraph are necessarily wrong, and the Lord does call us to let our light shine so that others may see our good works and glorify Him (Matthew 5:16). However, it is important for us to realize the benefits that come when we are able to separate ourselves from the distractions of life, quiet our hearts before the Lord, and regain a spiritual perspective.
Even during the height of His ministry, Christ Himself, the ultimate servant and our supreme example, took the time to get alone with His Father (Matthew 4:23). He was continually wanted and needed by the crowds and had the power to do things no one else could do, yet He knew the importance of pulling away in order to be alone.
In looking back over my years at college, some of my most precious times with the Lord occurred when I carved out time to “get away.” Because the college was located in a small town (Ogun State), it was often difficult to find a place where there weren’t at least two or three other students. However, I discovered that God is more than happy to meet me in the woods on a weekday afternoon, in an empty classroom 30 minutes before class started, or even in my room before everyone else awoke.
The discipline of silence and solitude is not just for those in monasteries. It is not something that is out of reach or something we can excuse away with our busy schedules. We simply need to seize the moments that allow us to focus on Christ, even if it is just in the few minutes before we wake up or before we go to bed. It is amazing to think about how much time we spend commuting to and from work or running errands. We could easily choose to spend that time praying, reviewing Scripture, or praising God for his incredible attributes instead of simply turning on the radio.
Life does not present us with blocks of time when absolutely nothing is planned, when nothing needs to be done, and when no one needs our attention. The demands on our time seem to grow greater as we get older, as does our need for refreshment. It may take creativity and persistence, but it is well worth our effort to find those special times and places where we can get alone with our Saviour.
Many moms and dads want to start teaching their children the Bible.
Yet, those same parents sometimes get paralyzed and never take their first step.
The reason is simple … they just don’t know where to start.
Here is one place you could start. The Book of Proverbs is replete with wisdom for life and parenting. The selected verses below are good for your whole family to learn together. They can become the centerpiece of your kitchen table discussions and a tour guide for difficult conversations.
The Book of Proverbs is arguably the most practical book in the entire Bible. So as you search for a place to start in the teaching and instruction of your children, why not start in a place that will make immediate impact? And that impact is not limited to your children … it will happen in mom and dad, too.
- Proverbs 16:18 – Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling.
- Proverbs 3:5-8 – Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones.
It is essential for children to learn of their dependence upon God. Starting while they are young will help for when the get older. However, it is never too late to start infusing them with truth.
James 4:6 tell us, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Consider the magnitude of this truth. If we allow pride to take up residence in our children, we are poising them to be opposed by God. Grace comes to the humble, and humility only comes when we overcome the lie of self-sufficiency.
Proverbs 16:18 and 3:5-8 can be a great starting point for your children, and your family, to understand the problem with pride. With each small step they take toward humility, they move one small step from positioning themselves against God. This is always good.
The fear of the Lord
- Proverbs 1:7 – The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
- Proverbs 14:27 – The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, that one may avoid the snares of death.
Though the fear of the Lord is not very popular, it is very necessary. The two verses above are just a small, small sampling of the Scriptures that speak directly to the importance of fearing God.
Once we are aware of our dependency upon Him, we become aware of His power and sway over our lives. This cultivates a healthy fear. And that fear is the very starting point of knowledge, wisdom, and understanding (see Proverbs 1:7 and 9:10).
It is much better for your children to fear the Lord than it is for them to fear you. He is infallible … you are not. He is all-powerful … you are not. He is sovereign … you are not. And, most practically, He is omnipresent … you are not.
Avoiding the fear of man
- Proverbs 29:25 – The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted.
Peer pressure is not unique to adolescents. It is everywhere. It is peer pressure that causes children to chaff against their parents: “I don’t want my friend to think I’m weak and cooperative.” It causes one sibling to leave another out: “This game is just for the big kids … not for you.”
The Bible has a term for what we now call “peer pressure” … it is “fear of man.” This does not only mean that you are afraid of a playground bully or a nasty neighbor. It means that you fear the opinion of another, and that fear controls you. It is important to note that, nearly everywhere you find “fear of man” in the Bible, you will find “fear of God” or “trust in God” right alongside it. These two “fears” are in conflict with one another and cannot reside peacefully together.
If we are to be successful in cultivating a healthy fear of God in our families and with our children, we must at the same time train ourselves away from the fear of man. Learning and memorizing this proverb will benefit your family now and throughout your lives.
Receiving Instruction/Criticism/Wisdom from Others
- Proverbs 12:15 – The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.
- Proverbs 15:32 – He who neglects discipline despises himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding.
Through the church, God calls us into relationships with others. These relationships are not optional … they are essential. So, too, is learning to receive what God wants to say to us through these relationships. This is no less true of an 8-year-old than it is of a 48-year-old. We all need wisdom, and God often chooses to give it through the mouth of a wise counselor.
We not only need to learn of the limited wisdom that we ourselves possess. We also need to learn of the importance of being surrounded by wise people. It is good to consider the advice of others. It is better if those others are wise and not foolish advisors.
Children, from toddlers to teenagers, resist depending on the wisdom of others. There is a good reason for that. They are people … just like us. This tendency is not limited to children … it covers us all. So, committing these passages to our memories can go a long way to preparing our hearts to accept counsel … wise counsel.
When life gets hard
- Proverbs 18:10 – The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and is safe.
It’s difficult for children to understand hardships in life. Even when our children are teenagers, life gets very confusing when it’s less than perfect. Do you recall the overwhelming sentiment that swept across the nation on 9/11? Why would God allow something like this?
The truth is that God does not always provide answers for why we experience hardships. That does not mean, however, that God does not provide help. Even in the midst of our confusion and lack of understanding, God provides a refuge for us in times of trouble.
Not every difficulty will hit your children when you are around. They need to know where to run when life gets hard on their own. They need to learn, like you do, that God is always present and always available for the righteous. And, in the midst of confusion, we sometimes need something more than understanding; we sometimes need safety. We need a safe place to be confused, hurt, or broken. In reply, God says, “Come to me.”
When God and I disagree
- Proverbs 21:3 – To do righteousness and justice is desired by the LORD more than sacrifice.
God does not make light of our heartfelt sentiment. However, He does not make it His most prized goal. In more than just this verse, God let’s us know that He desires our obedience. Not because we earn something by it, but because when we obey, we acknowledge with our actions that His wisdom is supreme … not ours.
God does delight in sacrifice. He delights in our service, in our passionate worship, in our love for Him. However, true love for God does not express itself in disobedience. So, even more than our sacrifices, God desires for us to do righteousness and justice.
When they are young, children have an opportunity to practice this proverb under their parents’ authority. As they grow, that authority passes ultimately to its only deserving object—God Himself. Then as adults, and even as parents, we have a chance to model this verse for our children.
Most important of all
- Proverbs 4:23 – Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.
We desire for the springs of life to flow freely from the hearts of our children, our spouse, even ourselves. However, a neglected heart is full of dams and dikes, redirecting and blocking the otherwise free-flowing springs of life. Where have these obstacles come from?
They come from the sin we tolerate … from the wrong things we let in … from the good things we refuse to let in. Ultimately, they come from neglecting to watch over our hearts with all diligence. In the lives of our young children, they often come from neglecting to diligently watch over their hearts.
The truth behind this proverb will begin to equip everyone in your family to guard over their hearts. It will stand as a sentry when you can’t be with your children. It will stand as a reminder when you fail to be as aware as you ought. God can, and will, use this verse to prompt proper thinking and pure decision-making in your life … and the lives of your family.
A great beginning
Once you’ve committed these to memory as a family, celebrate together. It is a great feat to set aside the time that is necessary to do this … and then a greater one to actually do it. However, don’t stop there. The Word of God is full of wisdom for both life and godliness. Find other proverbs, move to some of the psalms, or consider the gospels or other books from the New Testament. Regardless of where you go in the Scriptures, the key is to keep on going. God will make good on this promise:
For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth and making it bear and sprout, and furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so will My Word be which goes forth from My mouth; it will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it (Isaiah 55:10-11).
I. Representative Scripture references about “parenting”
Deut. 21:18-21 – “stubborn and rebellious sons…should be stoned to death”
Ps. 127:1-5 – “children are a gift of the Lord…”
Prov. 10:1 – “a wise son makes a father glad; a foolish son is a grief to his mother”
Prov. 13:18 – “poverty and shame will come to him who neglects discipline”
Prov. 15:5 – “a fool rejects his father’s discipline”
Prov. 17:6 – “the glory of sons is their fathers”
Prov. 19:18 – “discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death”
Prov. 22:6 – “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Prov. 22:15 – “foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him”
Prov. 23:13,14 – “do not hold back discipline from the child. Although you smite him with the rod, he will not die…”
Prov. 29:15 – “the rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother”
Eph. 6:4 – “fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Col. 3:21 – “fathers, do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart”
I Tim. 3:4 – “an elder must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity”
Titus 1:6 – “elders…having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion”
Heb. 12:5-11 – “what son is there that the father does not discipline?”
II. Re-examining Proverbs 22:6
A. Traditional interpretations
1. “Train up…” – training techniques
2. Alternative explanation: “Dedicate…”
3. “the way he should go” – child’s particular “bent”
4. “will not depart from it” – never rebel, defect
B. Original Hebrew words
1. hanak – inaugurate, initiate, begin, start off
2. peh – mouth, opening, entrance
3. derek – road, way, journey, course
4. zagen – to have a beard, grows up
5. sur – depart, turn aside, be deprived, lack
C. “Start off a child in the opening of the course of life, and when he grows up he will not lack direction.”
III. What a parent can and cannot do for a child.
A. A parent cannot…
1. spiritually convert, regenerate, or save a child.
2. sanctify a child; make them holy or righteous
3. make a Christian disciple out of a child
4. dictate, determine or develop the personality of a child
B. A parent can…
1. start them off on the course of life with direction
2. allow the grace of God to function in them as parents. Jn. 15:5; II Cor. 3:5; 12:9
3. allow the grace-dynamic of God to function in the children
IV. What children are and are not.
A. Children are not…
1. merely progeny, to carry on the family name
2. possessions – they belong to God.
3. projects – to accomplish before God.
4. extensions of the parents – projected expectations
5. trophies or status symbols to build parents reputation
6. pawns, peons, or petty servants to do the parents whims
B. Children are…
1. gift of the Lord – Ps. 127:3
2. a priority responsibility of parents
3. opportunity for personal development in parents
a. unselfishness – I Tim. 2;15
b. deference – Eph. 5:21
c. love – Titus 2:4
V. What a child needs and does not need.
A. A child does not need…
1. a parent that tries to “play God”
2. an authoritative law-enforcement officer as parent
3. everything given to him
4. to be over-protected or smothered
5. to be given absolute freedom – permissiveness
6. to be allowed to control the family
B. A child needs…
1. a parental care-giver
a. to love, nurture and give direction
b. to meet personal development needs
2. a relational parent – who relates personally and individually
a. appreciates their feelings
b. accepts their individuality and differences
c. allows them to think and feel
3. an exemplary parent – models consistency and honesty
4. an encouraging parent – supportive, “on their team”
5. a loving parent
6. a forgiving parent
VI. A Christocentric approach to parenting.
A. Misemphasis of “focusing on the family.”
1. Popular approaches to family and parenting
2. Procedures, techniques, precepts, principles
3. “Works” orientation to parenting
B. Emphasis of focusing on Jesus – Heb. 12:2 – “fixing our eyes on Jesus”
1. Allowing Jesus to function in the family
2. Allowing life of Jesus to be lived out in the parent
3. Freedom and liberty in Christian parenting
a. Don’t have to be so uptight about doing it right.
b. Lighten up; relax; enjoy your children
4. Parenting with the “mind of Christ” – I Cor. 2:16
a. “listen under” God in obedience
b. trust that what comes to mind is right
c. “Right” is the character of God expressed in you; not particular procedures and techniques of parenting.
5. Look back and say, “To God be the glory, great things He has done”
Here is a long list of Bible verses that talk about parenting, child instruction, mothers and fathers. Leave me a comment if we’ve left off your favourite.
Ephesians 6:1-4 ESV Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (2) “ Honour your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), (3) “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” (4) Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Proverbs 23:13-14 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 ESV “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. (5) You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. (6) And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. (7) You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (8) You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as front-lets between your eyes. (9) You shall write them on the door posts of your house and on your gates.
Luke 2:48-52 ESV And when his parents saw him, they were astonished. And his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.” (49) And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” (50) And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. (51) And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart. (52) And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favour with God and man.
Luke 18:28-30 ESV And Peter said, “See, we have left our homes and followed you.” (29) And he said to them, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, (30) who will not receive many times more in this time, and in the age to come eternal life.”
John 9:3-5 ESV Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. (4) We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. (5) As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”
2 Corinthians 12:13-15 ESV For in what were you less favoured than the rest of the churches, except that I myself did not burden you? Forgive me this wrong! (14) Here for the third time I am ready to come to you. And I will not be a burden, for I seek not what is yours but you. For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. (15) I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls. If I love you more, am I to be loved less?
Colossians 3:20 ESV Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
1 Timothy 5:3-4 ESV Honour widows who are truly widows. (4) But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 ESV But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. (2) For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, (3) heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, (4) treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, (5) having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.
Colossians 3:20-24 ESV Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. (21) Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (22) Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleaser’s, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. (23) Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, (24) knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
Proverbs 1:8-9 ESV Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, (9) for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.
Proverbs 30:17 ESV The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.
Proverbs 7:1-3 ESV My son, keep my words and treasure up my commandments with you; (2) keep my commandments and live; keep my teaching as the apple of your eye; (3) bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.
Leviticus 19:3 ESV Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 ESV “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, (19) then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, (20) and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ (21) Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
Exodus 20:12 ESV “ Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.
Exodus 21:15-17 ESV “Whoever strikes his father or his mother shall be put to death. (16) “Whoever steals a man and sells him, and anyone found in possession of him, shall be put to death. (17) “Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death.
Titus 2:3-5 ESV Older women likewise are to be reverent in behaviour, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, (4) and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, (5) to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Deuteronomy 4:9-10 ESV “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children– (10) how on the day that you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, the LORD said to me, ‘Gather the people to me, that I may let them hear my words, so that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children so.’
Deuteronomy 11:19 ESV You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Joel 1:2-3 ESV Hear this, you elders; give ear, all inhabitants of the land! Has such a thing happened in your days, or in the days of your fathers? (3) Tell your children of it, and let your children tell their children, and their children to another generation.
Psalms 78:2-8 ESV I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, (3) things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. (4) We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. (5) He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, (6) that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, (7) so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; (8) and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.
Psalms 103:13 ESV As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
Proverbs 10:1 ESV The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.
Psalms 112:1-2 ESV Praise the LORD! Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in his commandments! (2) His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.
1. Remember that you were created for a purpose.
To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing
–1 Peter 3:8-9
2. Absorb the fact that time is short. You are just passing through this world.
You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away
3. At the beginning of each week, write down one or two things that matter to not only you, but also to God. Examples: Spending time with God, having a strong marriage, understanding each of your children.
Then, jot down one or two ways you can show these things truly matter to you. Example: Get up 30 minutes earlier each day to read the Bible; have a date night; plan how you will have individual time with each child this week and then implement your plan.
But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves
4. Decide whom you will serve—God or man. Sit down with your spouse (if you are married) and discuss what is seen, heard, and done in your house. Does it really please the Lord?
” … Choose for yourselves today whom you will serve … as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”
5. Cultivate a legacy of gratitude. You may want to have a blank journal and ask family members to write one or more blessings in it every day.
” … keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving”
6. Encourage your children to pray along with you when making tough decisions, interceding for others, or asking for material provisions. As they see God answer prayers, they will learn to look to Him when they are in need.
“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you”
7. Take time to write or record (audiotape or videotape) your spiritual journey—your childhood memories about faith, your salvation experience, what lessons God has taught you, etc.
“Remember the days of old, consider the years of all generations. Ask your father, and he will inform you, your elders, and they will tell you”
8. Allow your children to sacrifice for a greater need. Perhaps eat meatless meals once a week and give the money to a local food pantry.
And walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma
9. Look for everyday teaching opportunities. For example, if the cashier gives you too much money back after a transaction, return it and explain why to your child: “God says not to take what’s not your own.”
“These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up”
10. Create an atmosphere of understanding. Welcome your children’s questions about faith and family.
That their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God’s mystery, that is, Christ Himself